Human Behavior and Finding a FSUW

[RacerX]

The other day I was reading an article by Daniel Kahneman (Nobel prize in economics) on how human behavior and emotions play a central part in investment decisions.  Strangely, much of what he writes can also be applied to the process of locating a RW/UW and explains why men sometime act in counterproductive ways in trying to reach their goal, namely:

* Loss Aversion.  People tend to be more affected by losses than gains. Sometimes their aversion to suffering another loss can result in bad decisions and overly conservative stances.

* Recency bias.  People often give too much weight to recent experience. They assume whatever they have recently experienced will continue, thereby repeating their mistakes.

* Anchoring.  There is so much information to absorb in selecting a RW/UW that is easy to overrate the relevance an initial piece of information.  Doing so without evaluating the larger picture can be very risky.  For example, a guy might cling to one or two exceptional things they see in a lady (her photo for example) and not want to identify a couple of reasons not to pursue her.

[Admin]

The other day I was reading an article by Daniel Kahneman (Nobel prize in economics) on how human behavior and emotions play a central part in investment decisions. Strangely, much of what he writes can also be applied to the process of locating a RW/UW and explains why men sometime act in counterproductive ways in trying to reach their goal, namely:

* Loss Aversion. People tend to be more affected by losses than gains. Sometimes their aversion to suffering another loss can result in bad decisions and overly conservative stances.

* Recency bias. People often give too much weight to recent experience. They assume whatever they have recently experienced will continue, thereby repeating their mistakes.

* Anchoring. There is so much information to absorb in selecting a RW/UW that is easy to overrate the relevance an initial piece of information. Doing so without evaluating the larger picture can be very risky. For example, a guy might cling to one or two exceptional things they see in a lady (her photo for example) and not want to identify a couple of reasons not to pursue her.

I think this could be a VERY valuable topic for guys seeking FSU women. It addresses some of the psychological aspects of seeking a life-partner, and then the dynamics of that in connection with seeking that partner from the FSU.

On the 'Loss Aversion' item - it struck me as fitting the axiom about the pleasure/pain response. We almost always seem to respond more vigorously to pain inputs than to pleasure inputs. Probably something to do with ancient survival instincts, if I were guessing. Losses are, for most, rather painful experiences - whereas gains would tend to feel more pleasurable. I know I still vividly recall my experience with Iridium (Motorola's satellite constellation for worldwide cellphone coverage - and a HUGE loser in the market), but I cannot recall the name of the last equity I had a gain on. Maybe that says more about my investing strategy than anything else - but still.

On the "Anchoring" - I tend to think this relates directly to the WOVO method - or to the guy who meets someone on their first trip and sticks to them immediately, to the exclusion of considering any others.

Hopefully others will jump in with their thoughts on this as well.

I don't know why, but one of the synapses that was firing after I read your post was taking me back to a book by Harville Hendricks who wrote, Getting the Love You Want (among others). In it, he describes a physical condition he calls "limerance" which has the following definition: "Romantic love marked by preoccupation, and often, obsession, with the loved one."

Maybe the more common term is "infatuation" - but Hendricks describes the physiological changes which accompany it and takes it further with his definition of limerance.

It has been many years since I read the book, but I recall this concept and a few others pretty well. The book is as valuable today as it ever was.

Just FWIW

- Dan

[Dutchy013]

Racer,

Indeed some valuable information you prvided.

It sounds like from a book for the stock market

[RacerX]

You're right, it was!  But interesting, after reading the Kharkov Khaos thread how the two seem so entwined. 

[2tallbill]

The other day I was reading an article by Daniel Kahneman (Nobel prize in economics) on how human behavior and emotions play a central part in investment decisions.  Strangely, much of what he writes can also be applied to the process of locating a RW/UW and explains why men sometime act in counterproductive ways in trying to reach their goal, namely:

* Loss Aversion.  People tend to be more affected by losses than gains. Sometimes their aversion to suffering another loss can result in bad decisions and overly conservative stances.

* Recency bias.  People often give too much weight to recent experience. They assume whatever they have recently experienced will continue, thereby repeating their mistakes.

* Anchoring.  There is so much information to absorb in selecting a RW/UW that is easy to overrate the relevance an initial piece of information.  Doing so without evaluating the larger picture can be very risky.  For example, a guy might cling to one or two exceptional things they see in a lady (her photo for example) and not want to identify a couple of reasons not to pursue her.

All good points.

* Loss Aversion: These are usually the guys who will either never make a trip
AND/OR the guys who try to test women to see if they are scammers.
A good girl will get offended then dump you if you try to test her.
Don't worry a scammy/bad girl can't hide it for long.

* Recency bias: Repeating your last plan that didn't work just because you know
how to do it now isn't a wise choice. You aren't going to repeat a plan if it worked.
If it worked you are now with the love of your life. If it didn't work, then you need
to evaluate why. Figure it out so you can adapt your strategy and tactics for a
better chance at success.

* Anchoring: There are a thousand moving parts with finding an excellent FSUW
for you. Look at the girl in her eyes, what do her eyes say back to you when she
is talking? If you want to make it simple, I understand. So here is something
simple. FIND A GOOD GIRL. Trust is the bedrock of a relationship. Find a good
girl. You can compromise on ANYTHING, except for character.
 

[krimster2]

what I've observed in the "ebb and flow"  of life, is that for "everything there is a season"
for RWD, 'tis the season of 40+ yr olds whose biological clocks are runnin out
in search of "The Great White Hope" of Ukrainian Super Models for free

but, a funny thing happened on the way to the Forum
instead of you landing on Plymouth Rock
Plymouth Rock is gonna land on you

all you Incels like BeeFarmer who have spent yur life in isolation
soon as ya get "a whif" of a woman near by, just completely have a hormone fueled freak out
the weirdness goes up by 10X more

ya need to slowly immerse yurself to desensitize
take little steps
local/online clubs, special interest groups
if yur interested in Ukrainian/Russian women then make Ukrainian/Russian pages of yur web site
you can setup yur PC so that VK is auto-translated to English
and you can chat with gazillions of Russian/Ukrainian wimmin
http://vk.com/

pretend yur in one of them "Prisoner Of War" movies
the REALLY smart and daring guys were the ones who escaped
the average dewds stayed behind

are you smarter than average?
are you more daring than average?

no? ah well...Willkommen Stalag 17!!!!Achtung Liebe!!!!

danke...danke...

[Trenchcoat]

Back in the day, a bit over 15 years ago my Sister divorced her husband who she had been married to a fair number of years. At the time, western dating sites were just getting going big time and were becoming popular, Match, eHarmony, PoF, etc. Tinder came along a number of years later.

Like my ex-brother in law I was in my early thirties at that time.

He had no particular success on those sites post divorce as I didn't as far as I heard.

It was at that time that I decided to dabble in FSU dating. I think I joined this forum and read posts of other guys at it and I joined a cheap PPL site (not AFA). At that time I don't think Fdate was running. It was several years before ML's 2012 Pursuing FSUW 101 sticky post in the Starting Out section.

Possibly Elena's Models may have not been running or many pay Monthly sites, I think Lucky Lovers was which I heard of towards the end of that brief foray into FSU dating but none of the women on there appealed to me to contact them.

So anyway the dangers of PPL sites I was aware of from the forum and the funny ideas going around if how to get around issues to see that the girl was real lol. It was fun to say the least, but I never travelled to the FSU at that time but I did chat with a rather nice Ukrainian student girl on webcam.

Probably the world of FSU dating my ex-brother in law was not aware of or if he was didn't venture there. I had only tapped in about dating Russian women after getting frustrated with no real responses on Match and discovered it that way. I joined up with the Forum to get the inside track after the Google results showed signs of hope.

My ex-brother in law went after a different path, he had an average wage job, good for the UK, and a decent sized house albeit now with an even bigger mortgage. Now my thinking would be to rent out that house, at some point move back in with parents to save money, build up money and look abroad. Not him, he decided to go for a woman even older than my Sister with young kids She apparently was no beauty queen.

Now why for the love of gawd go for a deal like that, in supporting kids that aren't biologically your own I don't know. I guess he just got desperate so very quickly and went for the first woman that showed him any interest out of sheer panic no matter how bad the deal. Perhaps they got on, who knows, but personally I would rather be single, free & easy, rather than being shackled up to that kind of deal, especially with money behind me. A few years of rebuilding personal wealth and literally you could go abroad and live a life of riley with interest from nice single childless foreign women in many a country.

I just think this goes to show that some western guys just don't have a lot of where with all on the dating scene. They look locally, won't want to bother with any journeying and think they have to go for a local deal however so not so great. Myself I saw that even with no FSW in hand I was better digging around out there then settling for whatever poor deal there might be at home, if any. Hell even ending up in a hot tub in Thailand with Thai girls as foreign men were often shown on TV would be better than the deal he had accepted. Now I'm finally in a LTR that is going well enough at the moment, but even if it didn't pan out I would still prefer to chase women in non western countries than accept a poor deal here.

[ML]

I hug my Ukrainian wife extra hard when we are out and about and I see what I would have to settle for among the local women.

And particularly when I see women my age who remind me more of my aunts than a possible partner.

I know it's not fair to the older women what we older men can do . . . but it is what it is.

But then women mostly end up with all the wealth we generated, so maybe that evens it out.

And yes, I know that some women generate just as much if not more wealth than some men.

[Trenchcoat]

Yeah it's kind of funny, how everyday average western women turn down everyday average looking guys in their teens, twenties and thirties in the West, they mostly flat out ignore them and go for the Chads right at the top. Then when they hit late thirties to around forty or so it all pivots against them and they struggle to find a man. Most men with any sense no longer see a need for these women and they in any case often start looking bad.

I noticed the difference around late thirties to forties of what I could get in the FSU to what I could get in the West. In the West the women available to me were often a right state, in the FSU I could get a lot, lot better. It's still worth remembering not to over estimate what I can sensibly get in the FSU but it's a lot better than the western woman offering.

Really even if I wasn't looking outside my country I would rather pick up a video game, Netflix or similar streaming series, start a new hobby or interest, pursue further an existing one, work more hours to get more money in, start a new project, get a new pet, etc than bother with a poor deal with a western woman where I'm just going to be used.

If I had the time on my hands I wouldn't mind learning motor mechanics as a hobby and building/rebuilding a 1980s Porsche convertible 911. Have all the bodywork treated and protected against rust. If I got an old one and did a good job of going through it all I could have essentially a new car there but not have to pay any road tax as it would be a classic car. Look after it well and it could last me a very long time and feel great

Western woman try to play the dating game and relationships a new way to try and get more but just end up making themselves a poor prospect for men. You made the right choice in going for a FSW ML.

[krimster2]

"Yeah it's kind of funny, how everyday average western women turn down everyday average looking guys in their teens, twenties and thirties in the West, they mostly flat out ignore them and go for the Chads right at the top. "

funny?
we ALL do the exact same thing...even (checks card...YOU!)
so vot can ve conclude?
It's Evolution In Action

as ye judge, so are ye judged, aka "karma is a bitch...bitch"

nobody who goes to Ukraine is a "chad"
they all " beta boyz"

you all think bein a chad is a good thing, but it ain't
see fer you betas, life is a struggle, but not for chads
so chads never learn how to struggle
but struggle, is something even chads eventuslly will have to do, just less frequently than betas

it would be better to be a beta who struggled, and succeeded to the point he bcame an alpha
cuz he KNOWS how to struggle compared to a "born Alpha"

on top of it, too much pooty tang is just as bad fer ya as too little
ya gotta get "just the right amount"

if betas were chads, they'd be sick of putting up with women's selfish narcissistic behavior
and yearn to be free of any and all forms of ESTROGEN

and they'd either turn gay, or trans
or start shooting stuff or blowing things up
or experimenting with Bio Warfare
slovo!

look on the bright side!
you are just a drop of water in an endless sea
ewwww...what's that slimy stuff over there...???

if I could, I'd go back in time, a billion+ years ago
to when the first cell was created on earth
and I'd dump some antibiotic on it
phuque it! hit the reset button!

she's just a Darwinian Gurl in a Darwinian World
it's micro-plastic
it's fantastic

No need fer you to undress
Hop Aboard The Chad Express
Incels get in fer free
when they set their chickens free

they'll be chickens drivin Cadillacs to Washing Tundy Sea
when the Incels set their Chickens free

This episode was brought to you by PowderMilk Biscuits
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[ML]

Just this week I had follow up with Urologist after my Green light laser prostate surgery of early December.

I had bleeding until 2nd week  or so of January, and then was able  to have first sex.
(Note:  I aways provided daily orgasms to wife all during this 'down' period for me.)

Anyway, I was noting to Doc how it was somewhat silly that I still had a high interest in sex at my advanced age.

He said:  You should feel lucky.

I said:  If I weren't so interested in sex my whole life . . . I could have won Nobel Prize in Economics.

But . . . oh oh, wife was with me.
I had mentioned to her a few times over the years how she extended my sex life for 12 or more years.

So putting it together back home, she says:  "So you were expressing how I have held you back from achieving highest professional achievement !"

OK, so a lot of 'tap dancing' needed by me to smooth  this over !!!

[krimster2]

when my wife was in the hospital
she  kept asking, "vere do you keep files of vounded American soldiers?"