wife and RWD

[Son of Clyde]

Apparently it has gotten back to my wife that I have posted here about our family.

Just wanted to let you know from now on my posts will be very generic.

Apparently someone she has met casually has visited RWD and told her about my posts.

If it is the person I am suspecting I like her and her husband very much but I don't know what to make of her reporting me.

This person I have only met twice at various parties. She came across as a very considerate and sensible person.

For a first time married man with no support from his immediate family I almost felt as if the forum was like an extended family.

I will know better what to post from this day forward.

[Admin]

[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:

Apparently it has gotten back to my wife that I have posted here about our family.

Just wanted to let you know from now on my posts will be very generic.

Apparently someone she has met casually has visited RWD andtold her about my posts.

If it is the person I am suspecting I like her and her husband very much but I don't know what to make of her reporting me.

This person I have only met twice at various parties. She came across as a very considerate and sensible person.

For a first time married man with no support from his immediate family I almost felt as if the forum was like an extended family.

I will know better what to post from this day forward.

SoC,

Just invite her to join and post. That way, she will know exactly what you are up to - and she can offer HER perspectives.

- Dan

[KenC]

[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:

Apparently it has gotten back to my wife that I have posted here about our family.

Just wanted to let you know from now on my posts will be very generic.

Apparently someone she has met casually has visited RWD and told her about my posts.

If it is the person I am suspecting I like her and her husband very much but I don't know what to make of her reporting me.

This person I have only met twice at various parties. She came across as a very considerate and sensible person.

For a first time married man with no support from his immediate family I almost felt as if the forum was like an extended family.

I will know better what to post from this day forward.

Clyde, Clyde, Clyde,

Someone can only "turn you in" if you have done something wrong.  Either you have over stepped the boundries of what you consider your families privacy or you have not.  If you have, shame on you.  If you have not, then you have done nothing to feel guilty about or anything for someone to expose to your wife.  Regardless of which is true, you need to have a talk with your wife so that she is comfortable with your posting here.

KenC

[Son of Clyde]

I don't think of this woman as an "informant" because I have no idea what she mentioned. I only know that my wife is not comfortable with my discussing family problems on public forums. This woman only reinforced my wife's beliefs.

I just have no idea what was mentioned in detail.

Maybe the lady said I post about my family all the time and isn't it a good thing that my wife accepts this. I do not want to even bring this up when I see the couple at a party. They seem like nice people.

It all leads me to believe that the ladies at the parties are discussing more than we think.

[KenC]

Clyde,

Let me share some experience with you that I have learned from decades of being married: Don't let this fester or hope it goes away.  Talk to her about it in detail.  Get everything out in the open.  Tell your wife how this forum has helped you.  Discuss with her just what is acceptable and not acceptable to post on here.  Explain to her the anonymity of this forum, except for a very very rare occasion.

KenC

[catzenmouse]

SoC,

 Has your wife read the posts here? If not, would she be willing to? What about the CC list? Does she read that one?

Elena looks at the different lists that I subscrie to occassionally when I tell that I thought something was interesting but overall she has no real desire to look at it. She did ask if I write about intimate details here which I don't do (or at least to me they are not intimate details and she has not found anything that I have posted to be offensive) so there is no issue with us about RWD.

I think KenC is right on the money that you need to have a serious heart-to-heart about this and not let it become a bigger problem.

Good Luck!

Ken

[Daknack]

SoC I was there... and the women have got a TON of guts giving you a LICK of business about the very generic things you have posted.  ESPECIALLY considering some of the things they were discussing among themselves.  IMO... you need to continue doing what your doing and getting advice here.  Because shes getting advice from the hens.  Alot of AM Ive met are so hen pecked they blindly obey their RW even to the detriment of their fellow AW.  I think you need the support this forum offers.  IMO such things are a typically female tactic of separation of a man from a support network of friends and family so they can gain more control.  Once there is no one to advise the man they rule with an iron fist.  I would not consider this couple your friends.  They might be your wifes friend but they are not yours.  I would disassociate myself from them.  There is NOTHING you have posted that even comes close to serious public disclosure of private things.

On the side, I think in this case its a bad idea for her to join the board, Ill keep my reasons to myself, if SoC wants to know he can message or phone me.

[TigerPaws]

[color="blue"][size="4"]SoC,[/size][/color][color="blue"] [/color][color="blue"][size="4"] [/size][/color][color="blue"]  [/color][color="blue"][size="4"]

 My lady will read some of my posts  and if I believe something has been written which would be of interest to her I  will bring it to her attention, if a question or comment has been posted and I  think she would have an answer or another point of view I ask her about it.  Sometimes this is received well and other times, well I should keep quiet, women  it all depends on their hormone levels and mood (maybe they are one in the  same?).[/size][/color][color="blue"] [/color][color="blue"][size="4"] [/size][/color][color="blue"]

 [/color][color="blue"][size="4"] Maybe some of the other married men  could chime in on this but I do perceive my wife's desire for higher level of  privacy, maybe this is because she and other ladies from the FSU had so little  to begin with while they were growing up and learned early on to be guarded  about personal issues.[/size][/color][color="blue"]
[/color]

[Bruno]

Just invite her to join and post. That way, she will know exactly what you are up to - and she can offer HER perspectives.

In my case, my situation is better... my actual girlfriend have write me because she have read some of my post on a other board and she have find me interesting... she have like my personality... few month ago, she is become member here and she is able read my post... until now, no problem...

Why worry ? Since i write what i really think, it is not a problem... i have not a double personality... the Bruno here and the Bruno from real life are the same...

 

[Daknack]

Many of the things discussed showed NO... and I do mean NO interest in privacy.

[Son of Clyde]

The main reason I started this thread was to find out if the person would react to it.

There have been no pm's or phone calls to my house so I think it will be ok.

Thank you Daknack for all your support.

[Daknack]

Peice of advice for you in your marriage... and this applies to ALL marriages and married people.  This should be etched it stone and shouted from the mountain top.  Married couples have three kinds of friends.  Friends of the Husband, Friends of the Wife, and Friends of the Marriage.  The key is recognizing who is what.  A friend of the Husband will put the interests of the husband first.  A friend of the wife will put the interests of the wife first.  A friend of a Marriage will put the couples well being as a whole first.  Do not be fooled by peoples personality, or how likeable they might be towards you.  Look at what and who someone puts first.  In marriages beware the sowers of discord. 

[Son of Clyde]

There was a lady at work, nice lady, older than my mother.

When I got friendly with her I realized that she talked about EVERYONE behind their back. She even had sarcastic comments about her children and son and daughter in law. She called her daughter in law the "hoochie koochie girl" because she was exotic looking and wore fancy clothes. He son was the "hippie."

[Shadow]

Clyde now that she knows about it just tell her that your wife is welcome to read what you write at any time. And don't hold back in your posts unless you want to, your posts are not only helping you out but educating others as well.

Mila knows and is able to read all I post if she wants to. She has her own forums (not about dating) that she posts on, and I am welcome to look there. Being open and up front about it helps  

[2tallbill]

Apparently it has gotten back to my wife that I have posted here about our family.

My advice is to post somewhat generically, to never use real names and protect your
family's privacy. There are a-holes that making someone else's like difficult is very
gratifying for them. Don't give them the opportunity.