Men are from Mars, women from Venus.Society for those who want to understand

[Sia]

I want to open a separate topic for those who want to better understand each other and openly discuss the problem of understanding between men and women.
Especially if the situation concerns a man and woman from different country.Psihology its nice of course, but not always, our behavior can be studied using clever tutorials or training . Each of us is unique, and Our "cockroaches in the head" is also unique and can not always be in-depth analysis. I want to make this issue has become a kind of a quiet cafe with a pleasant company of men and women who spend their time for a leisurely conversation discussing any topic and asking questions to each other. I beg you not to litter the topic insults and claims on which the women fools and all men-the bastards. I would like to help someone to their feminine glance, to advise or to get yourself useful information about men's psychology, or why the man did so for example a so-and as interpreted his action. Hopefully topic will be useful.

Proceed?
Lights dimmed, candles lit, our cozy cafe waiting first guests .. Welcome!

[Sia]

I always wondered what drives the former man when he has once again declares himself an unexpected phone call or letter after a few months tishiny.It is new kind of entertainment or is it an attempt to see if you can try again to start a relationship or is it banal boredom because Spring, suitable new girlfriend does not and here such as the former was excellent, and why would not you call, suddenly perepadet romantic dinner with candlelight and a great night? I was always funny ... Do men think that girl is so mired in an unhappy love and self-pity that will for the universal happiness of the return of "prodigal protagonist?


"It sure will pretend that nothing happened, and how great that you've remembered me after six months silence.Of course I did not have other things to do but sit miserable crying into my pillow at night and wait for thee, when you condescend to me.Of course I am grateful to you that you've honored me with your late visit and I certainly do not want to know how many women you had after I threw me.Of course no jealous.You can cheat me again and again, I also stand by your stupid and I have no feelings and dignity .U are a same God, you're the only one on the planet, and better then you i cant find.I can not stiff, though other girls can have a little happiness to be abandoned you. "

This is a typical story of ordinary life, ordinary men and women.

Someone we executioners, for someone we are victims, we punish and teach someone ... this invaluable experience of the great teacher called Life ...

but I would like to duplicate these lessons have been less.

[Steamer]

I always wondered what drives the former man when he has once again declares himself an unexpected phone call or letter after a few months tishiny.It is new kind of entertainment or is it an attempt to see if you can try again to start a relationship or is it banal boredom because Spring, suitable new girlfriend does not and here such as the former was excellent, and why would not you call, suddenly perepadet romantic dinner with candlelight and a great night? I was always funny ... Do men think that girl is so mired in an unhappy love and self-pity that will for the universal happiness of the return of "prodigal protagonist? 

It seems to me that people have short memories and over time the reasons for a break up fade in intensity until all you remember are the good things. This was my case. I am also lazy so the thought of getting back together with the ex seemed better than finding someone new and learning to live with them.

Thankfully I came to my senses after our 2nd dinner date and figured out that my life would not improve unless I worked at it. I had no bad intentions, I was just lazy, not thinking and horny; all at the same time.

[Sia]

It seems to me that people have short memories and over time the reasons for a break up fade in intensity until all you remember are the good things. This was my case. I am also lazy so the thought of getting back together with the ex seemed better than finding someone new and learning to live with them.

Thankfully I came to my senses after our 2nd dinner date and figured out that my life would not improve unless I worked at it. I had no bad intentions, I was just lazy, not thinking and horny; all at the same time.

Thank you for the first answer.I did not thought of that laziness can be a cause for new update.And u I can understand, I too was sorry to trash the old favorite slippers, they're so comfortable ...

[Shostakovich]

In the US, the scenario you describe is called 'booty-call'.

Forget all the Pop books, the words only obscure.

"Man shall be trained for war and women for the recreation of the warrior - all else is folly"

This can be helpful also:

"This Simbol(Yin-Yang) represents the ancient Chinese understanding of how things work. The outer circle represents "everything", while the black and white shapes within the circle represent the interaction of two energies, called "yin" (black) and "yang" (white), which cause everything to happen. They are not completely black or white, just as things in life are not completely black or white, and they cannot exist without each other.

While "yin" would be dark, passive, downward, cold, contracting, and weak, "yang" would be bright, active, upward, hot, expanding, and strong. The shape of the yin and yang sections of the symbol, actually gives you a sense of the continual movement of these two energies, yin to yang and yang to yin, causing everything to happen: just as things expand and contract, and temperature changes from hot to cold."

Simple

[Sia]

Wait wait pls
For your personal theory of bad does not happen without good, and the white becomes white only after a comparison with the black? opposites attract only if they different charged  magnity? But this pairs or kill each other because of the complete incompatibility or live nearby in a quiet hatred for each other. Only when There in the middle of the buffer that absorbs the difference in charges to create harmony and balans.This buffer may be in Love, Common purpose, common cause, man-mediator (eg child).

The remaining arguments on the subject that this law of life when the ill person must meet a good woman, and vice versa, I think is not quite correct. Most likely this happens because the "good" partner in a pair of unconsciously assumes the role of victim, and deliberately humiliating searches, and no reason to demonstrate their sacrifice. Like "look at all, it's bad, but I-well, here it hurts me but I am proud banner self-sacrifice .Pity  me!"
Bullshit!
It is a perversion and a game in Bondage
or am I wrong?

[LAman]

Hi Sia....what a topic!!! Did you read the book? I am assuming you did. It was amazing for me to read how different men and women are. The 'part' of book I was interested in was how women like to talk of their issues and problems BUT only for someone to listen to them...no answers, no antidotes, nothing!!! AS for men, I found myself doing the same thing, they like to FIX things, things not working right, things that are broken, PROBLEMS their wives/gf are having. Instead of comforting a women during her troubles, as she is telling of what is troubling her, the man is thinking of ways to remedy the situation...it is hillarious when you think about it!!!! I felt I had a real advantage over many men, I became a great listener to women......you know thew saying, ' do men know what women want?' , well yes....someone to listen to them and listen to them ONLY!!!!!!

[Sia]

I read a book over a year ago.It was really funny to see ourselves from different sides.Of course it helped me in many ways to look at yourself more deeply.But not give answers to questions about male behavour.I would not consider it a complete desktop manual on how to get along under the the same roof with her beloved partner, and how not to kill each other after another act is not compatibility issues boiling eggs for breakfast.

The main thing that I personally learned from the book:
 - Never let categorical advice to my man even if he is not right
 - pls count to a hundred if you're mad at him for unfounded reasons, especially during the period
- they do not blame her if his socks again stand in the corner or he was in street shoes on just washed the parquet floor
- do not be to his annoying mom, nurse, teacher, whether a partner who will be there when it asks you about it, learn to tolerate his friends and find activities during the World Cup rugby, American football, boxing, racing , embroidery  on ...
- Whether it is always nice and friendly, but not too sweet, it does not fly, but you do not spoon with honey, sweet bored even faster
 -Do not Noah and do not complain, never ask (if you need a new car, broke the old and give him a ride with the breeze. After such a crazy journey he wants you to buy it without asking)
- if you accidentally discovered that he had not washed the dishes, and accumulated a lot of dirty dishes, cups, spoons, pots after you left on a business trip and loved the man was a "never merried BEFORE" .. calm wash, and shalt say to him, "My dear, what are you lad, I, I came back tired and hungry and wanted lunch, but so much mud at home, no clean dishes, I thought I would have to seek it in all the corners, and you're so clever folded everything into the sink and I had to spend hours on cleaning, but you do not two.Thks My Love" After this recognition, I assure you, any man will not make you suffer so much more

to be continued

[Shostakovich]

Wait wait pls
For your personal theory of bad does not happen without good, and the white becomes white only after a comparison with the black?

True

opposites attract only if they different charged  magnity?

True again

But this pairs or kill each other because of the complete incompatibility or live nearby in a quiet hatred for each other.

Typically, yes, but not necessarily

Only when There in the middle of the buffer that absorbs the difference in charges to create harmony and balans.This buffer may be in Love, Common purpose, common cause, man-mediator (eg child).

I could name others - such as the desire to understand and rise above aforementioned 'quiet hatred'.  In life it is always a question of the next step - when people help you out with that, you fall into relationship with them. 

The remaining arguments on the subject that this law of life when the ill person must meet a good woman, and vice versa, I think is not quite correct. Most likely this happens because the "good" partner in a pair of unconsciously assumes the role of victim, and deliberately humiliating searches, and no reason to demonstrate their sacrifice. Like "look at all, it's bad, but I-well, here it hurts me but I am proud banner self-sacrifice .Pity  me!"
Bull*snip*!
It is a perversion and a game in Bondage
or am I wrong?

'Good' is always measured against a purpose or given values and the scenario you paint is certainly possible.  But 'Good' comes in differing degrees.  'Good' health for example is almost always valuable, but sometimes it too must be sacrificed for a greater 'good'.  Value creating, value obeying -- it's the business of life but "The truth lies beyond good and evil"

Ya, this is bound to be popular -- a lady in the men's room: I've seen how that normally goes here.  Good luck.

[Sia]

The lady in the men's room? Where? When? Huh???: :-)

And what about the masculine in a woman and women's components in a man ???

All are equal! woman needs a man to bring him back to spirituality and emotional quality .
Men quaity to  present in a woman when you need cold reason and logic.


Remember, Yin -Yang .... ..... .... Yang- Yin ...:-)

[Shostakovich]

The lady in the men's room? Where? When? Huh???: :-)



And what about the masculine in a woman and women's components in a man ???

They exist!  Thus you see the girly-man with the manly-girl.  Of course this comes out in other ways too 

All are equal!

Absolutely untrue.  Equality has meaning only in mathematics, the rest is conjecture which the poor have devised as a means of making the rich behave.

woman needs a man to bring him back to spirituality and emotional quality .

That goes a bit far.  To be certain, women have more emotional strength than men.  Spirituality is different, as it is sexless, thus masculine/feminine bring equal gifts to the enterprise.  The masculine initiates, the feminine brings into being.  Reason is the province of the masculine, but they become bound by it, forgetting that life is irrational at its essence.  The feminine aspect is more open to the spiritual voice but it does not have the means to clarify it and thus become involved with all kinds of unprofitable hoakum. 
Men quaity to  present in a woman when you need cold reason and logic.


Remember, Yin -Yang .... ..... .... Yang- Yin ...:-)

I did not forget!

[Sia]

On the Thanksgiving Day, I'll give you a huge box of colored markers  !!!!

[Sia]

http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/drinkingproblem.jpg

no comments

[Shostakovich]

On the Thanksgiving Day, I'll give you a huge box of colored markers  !!!!

I'd like that!  But I'm having lot's of fun without them and haven't even used the advanced smilies yet.

 :hairraising:

"Women - they make the highs higher and the lows more frequent"  -- words from another philosopher that has failed at love.

[Shostakovich]

http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/drinkingproblem.jpg

no comments

Life is a well of delight, but all fountains are poisoned where the rabble drink.

[erudite]

I read the book many years ago and it profoundly changed many ways in my thinking and my approach to relationships with women.  I continually battle my instinct to "FIX" things for women when sometime nothing other than to listen and be attentive is best.  I definitely listen to women and pay attention to what they have to say to me.  It is important to not only them, but also to me. Of course sometimes I have to just request that they "chill out" or "get on the floor and chew the carpet" but that is not too often.

I think the most difficult part of a man and woman relationship in my experience is that when a man makes a mistake or transgression that a woman dislikes, she may forgive but she will NEVER forget it and put it in the past. It is always there handy to be brought out and used as a club on him if he does something else that makes her unhappy. Men on the other hand can put this sort of thing in the past and leave it there. A woman likes to pick at a sore spot until it is utterly RAW and almost not able to heal completely. A man lets it heal and moves on. To be able to "mend bridges" with anyone, one partner has to forget and move on so to speak whether it be the man or the woman who is most magnanimous.

[Sia]

Life is a well of delight, but all fountains are poisoned where the rabble drink.

Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men

Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman

[vwrw]

EXs may come with visits because

1.Although you are not intimate partners anymore, you can still have satisfying conversation. You know how affect each other, therefore, you can give each other support or encouragement and do it effectively.

2.Decay of memories over time, as Steamer has mentioned, is also a valid reason in my opinion. As people forget the good and bad times that are related to their EXs, their curiosity may make them willing to get “updates”.

In general, I believe reasons for return vary depending on what type of relationship you had and on individualities of people involved.  For example, if you were a loving giver and your ex was a seemingly selfish taker, he can return to you from time to time to heal his pride in your love after he was rejected by someone. Or he can return to you temporarily until someone more appealing appears on his horizons.

[Shostakovich]

Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men

Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman

Well if witches don't work naked than what women do?  I thought Russian women work naked?  No? I certainly work naked, that's why I thought a Russian girl would be perfect for me!  Is there a dating site for men who seek witches?  What about Russian witches?  That seems to be the best bet for me.

[Misha]

-Do not Noah

I presume you wanted to translate "ныть" which is to whine and nag and it somehow was transformed and translated into Noah

- if you accidentally discovered that he had not washed the dishes, and accumulated a lot of dirty dishes, cups, spoons, pots ...

The problem IMHO is not that the work is not done, rather that the work is not done to the expectations of your wife. This is the agreement that my wife has worked out when it comes to my cooking meals in the kitchen: she stays out and does not make any comment as to the process. In other words, I do it my way and she only comments at the end as to whether or not she likes the food I cooked.

[Sia]

Hello!
Forgive me yesterday did not have time to answer on messages.Itwas late time for me  and I fell asleep.

Well if witches don't work naked than what women do?  I thought Russian women work naked?  No? I certainly work naked, that's why I thought a Russian girl would be perfect for me!  Is there a dating site for men who seek witches?  What about Russian witches?  That seems to be the best bet for me.

do not even know what to say, the witches in Russia can be different.Which do u prefer more? Hmm, whose devilish twinkle in her eyes, and damn good looks and sharp wit? Or, you person of retirement age who are not always happy with the world and gossiping about the neighbors, and at night surrounds iyself screaming cats and thinks in its head colorful plans on how to it would be nice if a neighbor from the second floor which has a husband and a wonderful family, would have sprained his foot in the morning ))))?

By the way, afraid of their desires, they have a habit of coming true. It proved its own experienced way.Im not kidding. 

[Sia]

"Why do they come back.."
First, they are together, and they all wonderful. Then they are together, but they are not so great and all. Then all quite disgusting, but they are still together. And then they parted, and the situation could look like anything from the outside, but only those two know someone who actually cast. And then, still later, the one who initiated the cast, takes and returns. By law, the life of the genre is always the case when, firstly, the other partner's return is already nafig do not need, and secondly, the time, usually, for this return is most inappropriate.
But, it's not a chance encounter on the street, when you are confronted face to face and look at each other like two rams dumbfounded at a new gate and parallel to the start of the slot machine to carry some befitting the occasion, polite nonsense. This is deliberate, a special act expansion in your life. This is a call when you're sitting at home, reflexively spit in the telly, hoping to get into the face of the leading news  and scratching left heel and and and in general everything is fine ...WAS ...BEFORE.. Or is it a sms when you're in a bar with friends drinking beer, telling the story of astounding, as you were annealed somewhere the other day. Or - less frequently, but it happens - you are again at home, but not alone, and oh what a sweet and not alone! .. And then the doorbell rang.
And, your ex-partner has not changed his mind. But, he suddenly realized that she loved you and loved, in fact, always. But, he does not regret that he left you. While apologizing for any pain, of course, may like crazy.
Yes, it seems, really bad. But for reasons which you have, at best, tangentially related. Yes, he came just for you, but only because I knew for sure that you did not send. Well, or the likelihood of this seemed high. Yes, he came back not just to have sex, but also because of the catastrophic shortage of soulfulness and warmth. Yes, he may, inadvertently, but wii use you now and go away. A deal with their past and present feelings and attitudes you'll be alone.
Here are some capital (but unspoken) truths about the returnees:
 
1. They always come back only when they feel bad. History does not know a single example, when someone who you threw, he suddenly comes when he has everything COOL in life!  (lets call this character who comes back-Comes backer)

2. "Comes backer" may want to "just talk", but in the end, you still *snip*ing with him. In all senses.

3. "Comes backer" do not care what happens in your life right now. He is interested in only the present. All discussions about your past with him - a nice trick to lead the conversation to yourself, a loved one, in the present.

4. The sole purpose of "Comes backer": nourished by faith in themselves, force, energy, confidence, and other pieces that are so ephemeral that you can not put him through when'll be sucked dry.

5. Some "Comes backer" enough to get the makeup just to realize that you are on them do not care.

[Sia]

A man can be satisfied by an one woman, but he can not do it at the first attempt

What is it, perfect woman for you?

would be great if you could create a collective image of the together. Creativity and sense of humor is welcome, but without any fanaticism, boys, okay? I have my own self-interest, to understand and realize what's missing some girls to be happy in relationships with men

[Shostakovich]

do not even know what to say, the witches in Russia can be different.Which do u prefer more? Hmm, whose devilish twinkle in her eyes, and damn good looks and sharp wit? Or, you person of retirement age who are not always happy with the world and gossiping about the neighbors, and at night surrounds iyself screaming cats and thinks in its head colorful plans on how to it would be nice if a neighbor from the second floor which has a husband and a wonderful family, would have sprained his foot in the morning ))))?

By the way, afraid of their desires, they have a habit of coming true. It proved its own experienced way.Im not kidding. 

What a strange series of posts.  I'm diggin' (to use tedious American vernacular from the ancient 1960s) this lyrical style - perhaps you are a witch.  Evil that knows how to laugh only betokens a new ideal. Sure: damn good looks and sharp wit works for me.  In my building I live on 16th floor, 2nd floor are parked cars.  In any event I'm not retirement age and wish no one ill.

[Shostakovich]

"Why do they come back.."
First, they are together, and they all wonderful. Then they are together, but they are not so great and all. Then all quite disgusting, but they are still together. And then they parted, and the situation could look like anything from the outside, but only those two know someone who actually cast. And then, still later, the one who initiated the cast, takes and returns. By law, the life of the genre is always the case when, firstly, the other partner's return is already nafig do not need, and secondly, the time, usually, for this return is most inappropriate.
But, it's not a chance encounter on the street, when you are confronted face to face and look at each other like two rams dumbfounded at a new gate and parallel to the start of the slot machine to carry some befitting the occasion, polite nonsense. This is deliberate, a special act expansion in your life. This is a call when you're sitting at home, reflexively spit in the telly, hoping to get into the face of the leading news  and scratching left heel and and and in general everything is fine ...WAS ...BEFORE.. Or is it a sms when you're in a bar with friends drinking beer, telling the story of astounding, as you were annealed somewhere the other day. Or - less frequently, but it happens - you are again at home, but not alone, and oh what a sweet and not alone! .. And then the doorbell rang.
And, your ex-partner has not changed his mind. But, he suddenly realized that she loved you and loved, in fact, always. But, he does not regret that he left you. While apologizing for any pain, of course, may like crazy.
Yes, it seems, really bad. But for reasons which you have, at best, tangentially related. Yes, he came just for you, but only because I knew for sure that you did not send. Well, or the likelihood of this seemed high. Yes, he came back not just to have sex, but also because of the catastrophic shortage of soulfulness and warmth. Yes, he may, inadvertently, but wii use you now and go away. A deal with their past and present feelings and attitudes you'll be alone.
Here are some capital (but unspoken) truths about the returnees:
 
1. They always come back only when they feel bad. History does not know a single example, when someone who you threw, he suddenly comes when he has everything COOL in life!  (lets call this character who comes back-Comes backer)

2. "Comes backer" may want to "just talk", but in the end, you still *snip*ing with him. In all senses.

3. "Comes backer" do not care what happens in your life right now. He is interested in only the present. All discussions about your past with him - a nice trick to lead the conversation to yourself, a loved one, in the present.

4. The sole purpose of "Comes backer": nourished by faith in themselves, force, energy, confidence, and other pieces that are so ephemeral that you can not put him through when'll be sucked dry.

5. Some "Comes backer" enough to get the makeup just to realize that you are on them do not care.

You seem rather obsessed about the 'Comes backer'.  What is done is done -- Get thee hence, what to tell Comes backer.   And you also?  Why opens door to Comes backer?  Makes you a Comes backer too.