Four Year Wonders Got Married: Ochka and ML

[olgac]

Yes You are spot on. Even she herself says she dresses as a teenager.
And she did have exactly this kind of boyfriend. A programmer from Germany. He came to US and I saw him cute tall guy not extremely fit but not overweight. An avid gamer 😁
But there was no future as he couldn’t move to US since work visas nowdays are i possible to get. So she would have needed to wait for her citizenship to brung him. That’s 3.5 yeas.
Also he didnt want a stay at home wife and didn’t want to solve all her problems when she moved to US. Not a traditional guy. But he did spend 1000s on her buying her tickets, furnitue a TV etc.

[olgac]

"Your legs look much longer and your buttocks stick out LOL"

function follows form
it's supposed to do that

accentuates gluteal and leg muscles
a tightly built FSU woman
dressed like this can stop traffic in the USA

my wife is VERY useful to me when I shop in electronics stores especially when she's wearing a low-cut top

takes forever for me to get service
my wife just walks up to the front of the line, like it's her right
and everyone makes way for her
everyone just stares at her with their mouths hanging open, looking her up and down
while she buys what I need
and we leave

saves me a good 10 minutes, each time
my wife will never get a traffic ticket, for the same reason, unless it's a female cop

That is amazing, Krimster 😊 lucky man !

[olgac]

BTW the jeans I found very unflattering and told her so
The other 2 women are in their 50s!

[Trenchcoat]

Well the task I wouldn't have thought would be too difficult for her Olga if that is the case, she just needs to aim for the sort of man described. I would have thought any IT department would be full of those sorts of guys and often a fair few of them single. If not enough choice in Reno then possibly more choice in Silicon Valley. She might try getting a guy over from there and see if he would be happy living in Reno. After any babies are born if they do wished they could move to Silicon Valley again as he would be the only one working as she apparently would no longer wished to..

I think if you found the jeans unflattering as a woman then probably most men would. I think I know the type kind of makes a woman's legs look really chunky in a nit good way. Potentially the guy might think she is a dyke or something if she doesn't seem to want to wear stuff that appeals to men as in going so far as to be stuff that they think she may not be straight.

Ah yes I see the pic now I've logged on, that's about what I was thinking.

[olgac]

Yes I just posted a photo of these jeans above

She is not tied to Reno! She is trying to date remotely and move to where the guy is.
The problem with Silicon Valley is that it's SUPER expensive! I mean an average small 3 bedroom house is about 2 mil!
So unless a man is not just a developer but a developer for Google, Meta, Uber, Apple, AirBnB, Reddit, Netflix, Amazon or some other cool hard to get into companies, and makes at least 400K a year, he also won't be able to afford to be a sole provider who owns a house in Bay Area!
Men who are developers at FAANG (high paying companies) can find gorgeous younger women no matter how geeky or awkward they are because they earn 400K+

She was talking to a guy who is a developer at Apple (my former employer ) but the guy didn't like the fact she is not programming I guess
he wanted his equal as a wife!
She is now talking to a Belorussian guy who works at Amazon so maybe they will meet soon.

I think the ideal situation is for her to live in a big city but with lower cost of living than Seattle, Boston, New York, LA, or Silicon Valley. We are investigating different options. Me and her are going for a trip to Chicago in Dec to see how it is. Chicago is about same cost of living as Reno and her current employer has an office there. We will see

[olgac]

Ah yes I see the pic now I've logged on, that's about what I was thinking.

Yes too funny!
I mean amazing how a skinny girl can look overweight in these!
I cropped the photo because the rest of the image looked pretty bad as well, and she really looked worse than
women in their 50s who were dressed up in a feminine way!
I mean my daughter wears jeans mostly but not THAT kind of jeans!
And she is 20! And no she doesn't have problems attracting young guys at her university esp being in COmputer Science!

Lena agreed that she looks bad on this photo, bigger than women in their 50s, but she said those jeans are very
comfortable and she only wants to wear comfortable clothes. Well my jeans I am wearing on the photos I posted
are ALSO comfortable, they are not tight or restricting at all! just not baggy!

[Trenchcoat]

Yes too funny!
I mean amazing how a skinny girl can look overweight in these!
I cropped the photo because the rest of the image looked pretty bad as well, and she really looked worse than
women in their 50s who were dressed up in a feminine way!
I mean my daughter wears jeans mostly but not THAT kind of jeans!
And she is 20! And no she doesn't have problems attracting young guys at her university esp being in COmputer Science!

Lena agreed that she looks bad on this photo, bigger than women in their 50s, but she said those jeans are very
comfortable and she only wants to wear comfortable clothes. Well my jeans I am wearing on the photos I posted
are ALSO comfortable, they are not tight or restricting at all! just not baggy!

In my view:

Comfortable = Sloppy

I just see it as an excuse for dressing often too sloppy. The stuff you are wearing is fine Olga but some people take if too far and too often.

I don't really know how the conclusion is reached of jeans being comfortable they were originally designed for workman's wear to deal with rough work and working conditions. I mean they are ok and I don't have anything against them, I have a pair of jeans myself but prefer to wear Chinos these days they just look a bit more refined In think.

For women I don't really see that dresses and skirts are particularly uncomfortable, the way I see if they are easy to throw over or around the self and job done. Tights or stuff can be worn underneath in cold weather. My impression is that smart menswear is generally more uncomfortable. A shirt for example is often stuffed into trousers which isn't necessarily all that comfortable and if course often is done up so fiddly and timed consuming. I don't mind wearing shirts so much but compared to dresses & skirts I would guess it's more of a chore. Of course wearing a shirt open and loose untucked is an option I guess but I would assume women probably don't dig the look so much.

[Boethius]

Comfortable doesn’t equal sloppy.

[Trenchcoat]

Comfortable doesn’t equal sloppy.

I'll take it you dress sloppy then

[olgac]

Comfortable doesn’t equal sloppy.

Agreed. Some more expensive shoes for example that are high heel are very comfortable in fact!
Also I think some dressy slacks are in fact MORE comfortable than tight skinny jeans!

[krimster2]

those making 400k per yr in Silicon Valley, pay about half their income in taxes
then, when I compared Supermarket prices between Texas and Silcon Valley, Silcon Valley prices were about 25% higher, home owner's and auto insurance...HAHAHA

then ask yurself, how many hours per week are these 400K people working, it's probably 80 hr weeks
just to give ya a basic upper-middle class life, nothing fancy, that you have NO TIME to enjoy
and it took ya years of education and experience to get there

the majority make under 200k, they're NOT even middle class in California, after you take out taxes and other excess california costs, they're NOT EVEN MIDDLE CLASS!
this is the REALITY
that yur all a bunch of hamsters, running in the hamster wheel
to get a few more food pellets

well, I for one, say PHUQE that PHUQUEING WHEEL!!!

tune in, turn on, and drop out....
and don't live in a 21st Century Dickens Novel about yur "Great Expectations"

the capitalist system is all about chewing people up, and spitting them out for soembody else's profit
been there! done that! got the t-shirt
I was one of the few lucky prisoners who figured out how to tunnel out of the silcon valley labor sytem to be FREE!
by selling services and products to RUSSIANS!!!!
we don't pay no taxes, we ain't got no costs in Russia
did ya know that John Paul Jones went to Russia to fight for the Czar!!!!
I coulda been Commander Krimster of The John Paul Jones Naval  Drone Squadron
and had me one of them big "officer hats" and polished jack boots
and lots of medals
I coulda even marched up front in the Victory Day Parade
and young girls would run up to me with flowers

but alas...
it was NOT to be
and here I sit in exile...

Viva la revolución and Comrade Harris and The People's Democratic Party
si Amigos, I voted for libertad

we don't need no stinkin fascism
especially led by a dumbkopf

the USA missed it's chance at fascism, at the end of WWII
they shoulda used Atomic weapons on anybody else who was developing atomic weapons
to keep a monopoly
and everything in America works like clockwerke, I mean clockwork

the Trump conflict, is a culture war to cover-up a class war
only the people who studied Marx understand this
that the election is all about the future tax rates
and changing election demographics are gonna favor the poor o'er the rich

but most people in America are uneducated "idjuts"
and are brainwashed into thinking that Marx is Satan and not Moses leading the poor to the promised land safe from Pharoh's slavery

I remain defiant!!!!
Slava Ukrainia
Viva la revolución

[Trenchcoat]

Agreed. Some more expensive shoes for example that are high heel are very comfortable in fact!
Also I think some dressy slacks are in fact MORE comfortable than tight skinny jeans!

What made the high heels so comfortable? The impression I get is usually high heels are pretty uncomfortable to walk far in.

[olgac]

very true! 200K in bay area or even Seattle is not even enough to buy a house!
This is why I laugh when Trench calls 150K wealthy
150K in Reno or Chicago or some other middle cost of living area will at most get You a 1500-1800 sq ft house with OK schools.
400K-500K salaries are only for elite sr developers who were able to pass interviews into FAANG pr join a startup pre IPO.
When they get to principal level it will be 700K to 1.5 mil a year like at Uber (another one of my former employers btw)
and even then You live in a 2000sq ft 2500sq ft normal family house with OK schools, the house is older usually and needs renovations.
So no I don't recommend Silicon Valley, Seattle, LA, Boston, NY to any young person!
It's much better to live in the area where a 200K income can still buy you a house!
The salaries in such areas are lower but not twice or 3 times lower!

[olgac]

What made the high heels so comfortable? The impression I get is usually high heels are pretty uncomfortable to walk far in.

Oh I don't know usually padding and the design which determines weight distribution.
They are not as comfortable as flats but they can be surprisingly comfortable still

[krimster2]

yur friend has at most a couple of more years before she starts "aging out" of the dating game and her chances of winning the game, become less and less very rapidly
it's always a question of do ya play the hand ya got now
or hope for a better hand in next draw of the cards

she has the same problem she always had finding a suitable man
but now she's playin against the clock as well...

it's why women want a billionaire Brad Pitt, but endup with someone who sells insurance and looks like some hillbilly pridorik

[olgac]

Yes both me and her know that. I mean FSUW who stay in shape and divorce here get married in their 40s as well in my experience. But if she wants to have kids she needs to hurry.
However me showing her the reality has produced a bad effect because now she is not putting any effort into dating
not replying to men who write to her on sites, rejects everyone and tells me she pretty much resigned herself
to staying single and is now more concerned about establishing herself here career-wise so she doesn't need a man.

I am trying to say that it is ALWAYS nice to have a man even if he is just Your equal and doesn't solve all Your financial problems, I mean for sex and kids and even financially
You can afford a much better lifestyle on 2 times her salary, but I think she is still sort of discouraged.
I don't even think she put the new photos we got from this photoshoot on her several dating profiles
Looks like she is disillusioned and disappointed in dating.

I think the major change in her happened when one time she was saying how sometimes a woman gets tired of her job
or stressed out and a REAL man is expected to then tell her ton't worry You rest and I will take care of everything.
Then I told her that guess what? MEN also often feel like that and don't mind taking a rest! (I guess Trench actually
voiced it here on RWD as well that ANYONE if given a chance would decide to take time off work.

She then said that men are different, more driven, they usually love their jobs. And I said I also love my job but
there were several times I hated my manager or a particular company and just wanted to quit.
And I quit this stress when I was 51. A guy who is a sole provider can not quit at any point.
I showed her a poll in high tech how many people are satisfied with their job. I think it was only 64% and they are only satisfied now, not always with any job. In other field I think it was only 56% so yeah men don't actually always love
their jobs they just work for money because of responsibilities.

I think the analysis above made her depressed I guess she used to think that it's a man's nature to want to be a
workaholic and provide and spoil his woman. Then she realized this isn't the case

So yeah I guess I have managed to convince her that what she wants is unrealistic but now it looks like she just gave up.

[krimster2]

she should get either a man or a big dog for protection
the dog will be more loyal
but the man can "fix" things

when I was "white and fluffy"
if I lived where there was a lot of social contact, I'd meet women who were interested in me
so it comes down to some kind of probability theorum

Silicon Valley all the way up north to San Francisco
will have the greatest number of young wealthy males who are socially awkward and watch a LOT of porn!!!

there's her market
gazillions of clubs, organisations, gallerys, theater, music, all social settings to hunt her quarry or be hunted by them

forget Reno, a bunch of blue collar cowboys

[olgac]

you mean west not north?
Yeah she can't afford to move there on her salary or on any salary for QA analyst she can get there
I think Chicago is a better idea if her company moves her there.

[olgac]

forget Reno, a bunch of blue collar cowboys

Well yes and no her other friends: very feminine Ukrainian women who are refugees did manage
to land successful boyfriends here recently.

[Trenchcoat]

Yes both me and her know that. I mean FSUW who stay in shape and divorce here get married in their 40s as well in my experience. But if she wants to have kids she needs to hurry.
However me showing her the reality has produced a bad effect because now she is not putting any effort into dating
not replying to men who write to her on sites, rejects everyone and tells me she pretty much resigned herself
to staying single and is now more concerned about establishing herself here career-wise so she doesn't need a man.

I am trying to say that it is ALWAYS nice to have a man even if he is just Your equal and doesn't solve all Your financial problems, I mean for sex and kids and even financially
You can afford a much better lifestyle on 2 times her salary, but I think she is still sort of discouraged.
I don't even think she put the new photos we got from this photoshoot on her several dating profiles
Looks like she is disillusioned and disappointed in dating.

I think the major change in her happened when one time she was saying how sometimes a woman gets tired of her job
or stressed out and a REAL man is expected to then tell her ton't worry You rest and I will take care of everything.
Then I told her that guess what? MEN also often feel like that and don't mind taking a rest! (I guess Trench actually
voiced it here on RWD as well that ANYONE if given a chance would decide to take time off work.

She then said that men are different, more driven, they usually love their jobs. And I said I also love my job but
there were several times I hated my manager or a particular company and just wanted to quit.
And I quit this stress when I was 51. A guy who is a sole provider can not quit at any point.
I showed her a poll in high tech how many people are satisfied with their job. I think it was only 64% and they are only satisfied now, not always with any job. In other field I think it was only 56% so yeah men don't actually always love
their jobs they just work for money because of responsibilities.

I think the analysis above made her depressed I guess she used to think that it's a man's nature to want to be a
workaholic and provide and spoil his woman. Then she realized this isn't the case

So yeah I guess I have managed to convince her that what she wants is unrealistic but now it looks like she just gave up.

She seems to be behaving more like a Western Woman now in not bothering to reply to men because she is unhappy that she can't get what she wants/the offering. That is very bad behaviour in my view she should always reply to men who have bothered to use their good time to message her or take her profile down.

I think there is always something in the deal that is cut when with another half or looking for one. I think for sure she has some silly connotations in her mind that somehow men don't feel the same way she does at work, nearly all will do, the gender may be different but most men will have the same feelings as women at work. My father used to say when he was in his early to mid fifties that him having to go out to work was more like a prison sentence. Very few men are workaholics for the joy of it, a few maybe but many probably are so out of necessity one way or another.

Shd has to realise that men don't owe her anything like she seems to think they do and are there for. However if she wants anything like the deal she does then I agree with Krim that she needs to find a much higher earning man in Silicon Valley. I see that Reno is reasonably near San Francisco (so queers aside) perhaps she should try there. She could look up men on her dating profile there and contact them, etc. Then either she goes there to meet them on a short place flight or they come to see her.

Possibly she might get her graphic t-shirt wearing overgrown boy counterpart there. Or sex things up a bit to snag her guy with a short dress like the one ML suggests, the newer photos still aren't bad at a pinch though. I definitely thing she should try different approaches as what she has been doing to date isn't really helping her it seems.

I would say though that although the man at work/woman at home with kids combo can work she might be better not giving the man the impression that he is just wanted to alleviate her burden as that may not feel nice to the man. The man will want to feel loved and wanted for who he is even if that's the deal she wants along with it. Feeling like she just wants a man to dump stuff she doesn't want on him and that's all isn't likely to go down well.

[krimster2]

I learned a lotta Russian Metaphysics
everything from TRIZ to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi' "Flow"
The Flow influenced me quite a bit, it's what led me to freedom from being a work slave
it allowed me to focus on the part of my work that was fun, which was the actual engineering design which is VERY creative
and stay more in that zone, and avoid the things about work that weren't fun...like dealing with people...

I am also a devote of Russian mathematics and cybernetic theory
i've read Soviet mathematician Georgi E. Shilov's books
how you may ask?
I buy the books in kiosks
scan them
run it through Russian OCR
google translate to English
hand edit the results
then read it....and think about it...
heck, if I wanted to, I could change the language to my own hipster style add some Python code and re-publish and sell on Amazon

I do that with a lot of Russian stuff I acquired...a lot....
I freakin miss Russia so much that it hurts...
except for the weather, but then in spring, everyone turns manic
you can collect all kinds of stuff that you find there
in Sevastopol I collected shrapnel from artillery from the Great Patriotic War
what's cool, is to remove all the rust and polish it to gleaming metal
to make some cool jewelry

in the summer, lots of drunk Russians for my amusement, never got boring watching them, better than TV or UTube
and topless beaches... sweet mother of god (I lived a few hundred yards from one!)
rows of tanned beauties, wearing only a string bikini bottom, their nipples hardening in the breeze
laying there for me to "perv" over

then I walk back home and start writing code in a jolly good mood


Chicago, it's like Murmansk, but is much more "social"
if she can handle the weather, a MUCH better choice than Reno
but parts of the city, have to be completely avoided

silicon valley will have TEN TIMES the number of eligible bachelors compared to Reno/Sparks Lake Tahoe

for Reno,
if she skis, join the volunteer ski patrol at Lake Tahoe, she'll be surrounded by young ski studs

in theory, she needs to find an organisation, that's mostly males, that's open to receiving new members
and join...
once she's on the inside, she needs to see who's paying attention to her, who smiles and makes eye contact...
and make a move...

also, I'd use her exotic nature, I'd dress more sporty, more "edgy", mix and match with military t-shits show abs and cleavage, slightly goth
with a Russian accent, are you kiddin me

and the more ya do this, the greater the probability of hitting "pay dirt"

you can play a passive role, like yur friend is doing
or you can play an active role, as i'd suggest

i'd rather engage in an activity whose outcome isn't random, but is based on my effort and ability
cuz i'd get better results

and choosing someone yur gonna have sex with, it's imperative to make a good decision, amiright?
even if that person ya choose, is just yurself...

[ML]

Chicago, it's like Murmansk, but is much more "social"
if she can handle the weather, a MUCH better choice than Reno
but parts of the city, have to be completely avoided

silicon valley will have TEN TIMES the number of eligible bachelors compared to Reno/Sparks Lake Tahoe

for Reno,
if she skis, join the volunteer ski patrol at Lake Tahoe, she'll be surrounded by young ski studs

in theory, she needs to find an organisation, that's mostly males, that's open to receiving new members
and join...
once she's on the inside, she needs to see who's paying attention to her, who smiles and makes eye contact...
and make a move...

also, I'd use her exotic nature, I'd dress more sporty, military style, show abs and cleavage, slightly goth
with a Russian accent, are you kiddin me

and the more ya do this, the greater the probability of hitting "pay dirt"

you can play a passive role, like yur friend is doing
or you can play an active role, as i'd suggest

i'd rather engage in an activity whose outcome isn't random, but is based on my effort and ability
cuz i'd get better results

and choosing someone yur gonna have sex with, it's imperative to make a good decision, amiright?
even if that person ya choose, is just yurself...

Wow, finally a lucid and useful post from Krim.

And he makes a good point that you have to be very careful in Chicago.
It is a murder capital in some areas.
The safe areas maybe too expensive.
We have a female friend who moved there to take a university teaching position.
I warned her, to no avail, about Chicago.
Now she is wanting to leave after 2 years.

[olgac]

Guys I am very familiar with Chicago and the crime areas are very localized. People don’t live in those areas they live in northen suburbs like Northbrook, Buffalo Grove, Glenview, Highland Park, even Skokie! Of corse some are too expensive like Willamette, Vinnetka and Naperville, but the ones I mentioned we did research and houses there same price as Reno! And great schools esp Northbrook!

Re skiing patrol yes she skis and there are hot guys there but they aren’t high earning hot guys.

ML: was this woman teaching in Loyola University, University of Chicago, UIC or even IIT (which is right next to former Taylor Homes projects which got demolished? ) Those are not good areas. Even Northwestern un Evanston can be a problem because some parts of Evanston are bad

Thanks krimster I will relay this to her regarding possible style

Trench: how women approach dating is NOT a cultural difference it us simply supply/demand! Trust me when I say FSUW who are here in US legally are by no means less selective/picky that western women!

[krimster2]

everybody in her generation and after better plan on having a two-income family (or even putting their kids to work in the mills!)
it'll be a necessity
also unwise to be too dependent on yur husband, and then he divorces you or he dies, then what are ya gonna do?

she needs to come back down to earth and stop believing in fairy tales
she's not gonna be a princess
just another robotnik
like the rest of us
da, tovarisch?

when I was a teenager, I wanted to be a Playboy Photagrapher....
but I had to abandon that aspiration
and follow a different path
for how to see naked women

I saw more "red snapper" in the FSU than there is in the Tokyo Fish Market
it became a common, unremarkable sight...

[olgac]

Да ! I think she already realized it Krim and this is why she sort of gave up 😔 I didn't mean to turn her off dating and men. It’s great to be with a man You love even if You both work!
Or find a 50+ year old with paid off house 😊 but she does’t want it if she can’t be attracted physically

everybody in her generation and after better plan on having a two-income family
it'll be a

Yes yes and yes! With some exceptions of a very traditional man who is looking for a trad woman and can afford it! But she isn’t a traditional woman which she admits