The increasing draw of FSW going for Western Men in future?

[krimster2]

some folks are more interested in pinning their failure on external things to lessen it's sting
instead of finding an internal solution to overcome it
ain't that right BeeFarmer

[ML]

PS in my case i married my ex at 20 being a virgin, . . .

I also married a 20 year old virgin first time around.

That was a mistake . . . along with several other reasons why the marriage was a mistake . . . even as married lasted an unbeliveably long period of time.

My Mother died 3 days after reaching age 99.

Some weeks before, she was on a joint phone call with me and current UW wife.

At some point there was a brief mention of my first marriage.

My Mother then said:  "If there were ever two people who should have never married each other . . . "

[olgac]

My Mother then said:  "If there were ever two people who should have never married each other . . . "

Yes but You were married to your ex for a loong time and had You been for example a religious Catholic who knows maybee You would have stayed married while being miserable, then You would have been part of the "happy" stats Bee Farmer is talking about
I mean in "good old times" people just stayed married no matter what, men cheated, women never had a single orgasm but the statistics looked good
Can see the same thing now in Indian culture. They have divorce rate the lowest in the world.
I have literally talked to some Indian women in US who hated the sex with their husbands and had managed to have it like once in a beginning so they can have one child!

[ML]

I have literally talked to some Indian women in US who hated the sex with their husbands . . .

From the land of Kama Sutra . . . nothing worked ?

[olgac]

From the land of Kama Sutra . . . nothing worked ?

VERY small size, doesn't even get very hard, also the husband isn't good with his hands

[krimster2]

in silicon valley in my younger days, there were LOTS of married Indian women on the hunt for light skinned "boy toys" for office romance
and chinese to...
I never went that route again, after I learned the hard way about dating where ya work if it blows up!!!!
that scortched me worse than the LA Fire

OTOH, in China, meeting women is EASY
just make yurself visible and approachable(smile) is all ya gotta do
I always carried pockets of little tokens and coins to hand out as presents when meeting strangers in China
very common for people to approach ya to speak English...just take it from there

my new k-pop obsession



but goin this route would not be for the likes of someone like BeeFarmer
but I'd tap that JUST for the SUSHI!!!! everything else is icing on the cake....hmmmm yummy

i'm an advocate of "outbreeding" having offspring from racially diverse parents to create human hybrid offspring
hybrid vigor - is the extent to which the average performance of first-cross (F1) individuals for a specified trait is superior to the average performance of their parents for that same trait

African Americans are actually Afro-European hybrids
most native born caucasian americans who have a long ancestry here, will have a small amount of native American DNA, latinos will have a larger amount

we are all one big family
every war is a form of domestic violence

[ML]

Can see the same thing now in Indian culture.
I have literally talked to some Indian women in US who hated the sex with their husbands and had managed to have it like once in a beginning so they can have one child!

I have a very good male friend born and raised in India, but has lived here in USA for 40 years or so.  However, we have lived in different states for last 10 years, so only infrequent actual meetings.  Just exchange emails and infrequent phone talks.

I was telling him about my prostate surgery and that there is still some slight risk of docs cutting nerve that controls erection.

He said:  "I wouldn't care."  And he is 10 years younger than me.

I said:  "What ??"

He said something like:  "You western guys are too interested in sex."

I said: "This from a guy from country of 1.5 billion.

He said: "Not that many."          But then we went on to talk about something else, so no follow up on his lack of interest in sex.

He is married to a USA gal who is 5 years older than himself.  Resisted all attempts from his family to marry a gal from India.  His sister was in charge of finding him an Indian wife and she sent him many pictures of real 'foxes' that I would have been interested in way back in the day.

- - - - - -

Also casual friends with another guy from India who is in an arranged marriage of 30 years or longer.
He was telling me the virtues of such.
"In USA, man and woman are on best behavior to attract a mate.  Then after marriage, they no longer try to be on best behavior.  But in an arranged marriage where you don't even know each other before marriage . . . you have to be on best behavior after marriage."

[olgac]

Well there are for sure some advantages of an arranged marriage because usually Your family knows what You need sometimes better that You do especially when You are infatuated and can't think straight.
But I think trying if You are sexually compatible before getting married is pretty important especially after my own
fiasco with my first marriage.
Also sexual appetite has to be compatible, and it isn't always:

"we've got two children and we had a sexual intercourse twice" 

[krimster2]

sexual compatibility, is just one category out of a long list of factors for a stable marriage
overall compatibility in general is VERY important....
otherwise, over time, phile turns to phobe

it doesn't mean, "you have to be the same"
sometimes opposites in some things attract and sometimes they don't
you don't have to be the same, but ya have to fit together
and ya don't know that, until you you try to put the pieces together, and see what happens

when I was younger I used to end up having these strong feelings for women I wasn't in the least bit compatible with
mistake of youth
discipline yurself
becuz, if you are visible and accessible AND desirable (make yurself this way, if you aren't naturally)
the women who ARE compatible with you, will ALWAYS come to you
leave dem other wimmins alone

The Meaning of Life was a Great Movie!!!!

Olga, is there something like a Russian version of Monty Python, some weird humorous satire?
how would you even describe Monty Python to a Russian
I couldn't translate this kind of humor to a Russian
it's like word play from someone with autism Spectrum Disorder with a funny accent

the Russian comedies I've seen are more or less "slapstick humor"

[Trenchcoat]

So far from what I can see I've found being smart and presentable, somewhat expensive but not very expensively dressed seems to do well at making yourself desirable to women that are potentially compatible with you and not usually attracting the attention enough of those who women who are materialistic and not likely compatible with you.

[olgac]

The Meaning of Life was a Great Movie!!!!

Olga, is there something like a Russian version of Monty Python, some weird humorous satire?
how would you even describe Monty Python to a Russian
I couldn't translate this kind of humor to a Russian
it's like word play from someone with autism Spectrum Disorder with a funny accent

the Russian comedies I've seen are more or less "slapstick humor"

There was a similar show "Gorodok" http://www.youtube.com/user/GorodokTheBest/playlists
but not as refined humor as Monty Python though.
There are Comedy Club and "russkie Pelmeni" but I find their humor very low brow humor.

IMHO Russians aren't even as good in slapstic humor either.
For example I can't think of any Russian comedy as good as "Airplane!"

[krimster2]

sure STYLE is important,for first impression,  but...
substance is even more so
otherwise ye will be appraised, and ye shall be judged "as wanting"
so best to have yur true style reflect yur true substance
otherwise yur fake, on top of bein a slacker

few of ya, seem to be empathetic with the opposite sex
cuz if ya were, you'd see how easy it is to "connect"
instead yur nervous desperation gets in the way of "connecting"
followed by rejection, followed by discouragement

I always looked for someone I could have fun with FIRST...
then after that was established, see what happens with increasing personal intimacy over time
a step by step approach
this is what always worked for me

IMHO, comedy is less popular in Russian Kultura
other genres dominate
i'm an OICHEN BOLSHOI fan of Russian metaphysical sci-fi
the way it's mixed in with paranormal elements, very creative
here we just have zombie kinos

[Bee Farmer]

Correlation does not equal causation.
When a woman marries as a virgin she is likely from a very conservative culture where the divorce is frowned upon
In fact both of them are
So this is why the rate of divorce is very low not because they are super happy

The fewer partners the woman has the more conservative / traditional she is and therefore more likely to stay even in loveless or abusive marriage
Absolutely no news there. It says nothing about love or finding the one 😁

Once again, blowing smoke out your butt.

These divorce statistics are for USA.
Used to, (in more conservative/religious times) the divorce rate for women who married as virgins was about 6%.  You know, back when women were more likely to stay in loveless or abusive marriages.  But since the year 2000, the divorce rate for women who marry as virgins has been around 3%.
At a time when society is becoming less religious and women are less likely to stay in loveless or abusive marriages...the divorce rate for women who marry as virgins is going down.  Based upon your argument, the divorce rate should be going up.

Yes but You were married to your ex for a loong time and had You been for example a religious Catholic who knows maybee You would have stayed married while being miserable, then You would have been part of the "happy" stats Bee Farmer is talking about

Excuse me, but YOU are the one who keeps going on about "happy" stuff.  Not me.  I have been quite clear that being happy should NOT be a goal for marriage.  (Happiness is a side effect, but not the goal.)
The purpose for marriage is to create a family and create an environment that has the highest likelihood of helping the children prepare for adulthood and to be as successful as possible.
If anyone thinks the purpose of marriage is for their own happiness, they are being selfish and self-centered.  Kids and the family are more important than you are.  You have to make sacrifices.  If you are concerned about your happiness, you will be unwilling to make the necessary sacrifices to help the family.

I mean in "good old times" people just stayed married no matter what, men cheated, women never had a single orgasm but the statistics looked good

Oh, BS.  Used to the most popular electric appliances sold were vibrators.  Before that, women frequently visited their doctors and the doctor would massage them with his fingers to give them an orgasm.  How quickly people forget about hysterical women.

Yes, some men cheated.  Some women cheated.  But some men were faithful, and some women were faithful.  Personally, I would much prefer to live in a society where folks were willing to work at making a marriage work, instead of getting divorced at the first difficulty.

[olgac]

bee farmer: are You seriously trying to prove to a woman who actually DID marry being a virgin and hated it that it is in fact the right thing to do? You have theories, I lived it. Which one of us is pulling stuff out of out ass?

[olgac]

If anyone thinks the purpose of marriage is for their own happiness, they are being selfish and self-centered.  Kids and the family are more important than you are.  You have to make sacrifices.  If you are concerned about your happiness, you will be unwilling to make the necessary sacrifices to help the family.

Are You actually married? Have You ever actually been in a miserable marriage with bad sex or no sex and stayed for the sake of kids? Or are You again theorizing?

What if there are no kids? My ex and I did not have kids (and not much sex either ) we were both college students. Why be unhappy in this case?

At a time when society is becoming less religious and women are less likely to stay in loveless or abusive marriages...the divorce rate for women who marry as virgins is going down.  Based upon your argument, the divorce rate should be going up.

Are You able to think logically at all? I though You worked for big tech LOL. Yes the society is becoming less religious and traditional  so unlike before the only women who wait for marriage to have sex are the ultra religious ones whereas before most women waited because this is what a good girl was supposed to do in a more traditional society! Hell, *I* waited and I was never religious, my parents were never religious. So yes the women who marry as virgins nowadays are much less likely to divorce simply because they are more religious meaning practicing Christians/Jews/Muslims/Hindu and not just practicing but taking their religion to heart! whereas before they were mostly like me, simply good girls from good families without many religious convictions fearing that a good guy will not marry a girl who isn't a virgin.
So yeah the divorce rate among women who marry as virgins IS going down because the women who marry as virgins have much more religious convictions than the women who married as virgins before And the reasons to stay a virgin are different for these women. I never said it should be going up

Another easy way to look at it is before more women married as virgins and among this larger subset of women there was much more variety: some very devout and larger % were just well raised women afraid nobody would marry them otherwise. Now the % of women who save themselves for marriage is much smaller and their subset consists mostly of fundamentalist Christians, mormons, amish, orthodox jews, and indian and muslim immigrants. These are much less likely to divorce.

[Trenchcoat]

Apparently now in the West, possibly moreso the US now it is Men that are avoiding dating and relationships as it has become such a minefield. Too many pitfalls, too much risk of pain, too much likelihood of it not working out, too much hard work, and in general too many difficult unsuitable women. So apparently many younger guys have decided they don't want the bother or the risk of their life going up in smoke and aren't even bothering chasing women anymore. I definitely think that western dating and western gender dynamics has potentially become so complicated in modern society that it probably does literally look like having to tread across a minefield of potentially disastrous mines of issues with if not one getting you the another mine will do.

I think with that in mind going out to the FSU can actually mean less issues even with all the cultural issue differences, etc to navigate and that is actually saying something about how bad modern dating in the West has become for many men and women.

[krimster2]

yes, BeeFarmer is a psycho-social phuque-up!
and depends on a pop culture Christian theological psychologist as his guru

it's always better to fail, and learn from failure, then to do nothing and learn nothing
it's always best to learn from yur own experience, about yur own mistakes
a book can't think, a book is a map, and NOT the actual territory and sure as hell isn't a guide

BeeFarmer rejects the world
for one simple reason, becuz the world has rejected him
and BeeFarmer can't get past that
he has no clue how
becuz he doesn't focus on what's real, and instead focuses on his hurt fee-fees
and Jordon Peterson is just the right amount of pain killer for 'ole BeeFarmer
Opiate of the masses, indeed....

[ML]

I think there should be much more availability for both men and women to have orgasims with those of the opposite sex . . . or same sex if they want.

i.e.  Have places and services just as common as barber shops or hair salons.

Pay your money, go in, finish the deed and go on to work or where ever.

In such a society, sexless or near sexless marriages could continue if the man and wife were otherwise fairly compatible and were  doing a good job of raising children, etc.

Yes, I understand that for some people, sex is more satisfying where true love is involved. But where no sex or not good sex is present in particular marriages, orgasims at a 'shop' is a better solution than divorce where the marriage is otherwise strong.

[olgac]

I see but Bee Farmer is here on this forum so I am confused I thought he was interested in FSU women but now he says he doesn’t like the motivation of women who want to marry foreigners and neither does he like the motivation of men searching for such women.

If he is a Christian and wants to wait before marriage and also wants a woman to do the same then I am sure there are communities like that in US and other countries as well. Or go for much younger women who are still virgins. For example our daughter is 20 and has never had sex not due to any convictions but simply because she has never been really in love with any men she dated. No serious relationships. Her female friends are all similar: more into work and study than experimenting with sex or substances pretty wholesome young ladies. But of course if they get into a serious relationship and actually fall in love they will likely want to test a potential spouse out in bed before committing to a life with him.

The women to avoid I think are the women having way too much fun with sex, drugs and drinking before deciding to settle down. My Ukrainian friend who is 35 and works for Google has been complaining about dating American girls he meets, very young ones for some reason as he is cute and fit and meets them at the bars.
But he says they aren't serious and more of the party girls. So yes I get it, it’s hard. His new gf recently confided that she takes drugs and used to be so addicted she sold her body for sex! So an obvious no here.

[olgac]

Yes, I understand that for some people, sex is more satisfying where true love is involved. But where no sex or not good sex is present in particular marriages, orgasims at a 'shop' is a better solution than divorce where the marriage is otherwise strong.

Well there are already various toys that can help with that for a woman at least. It’s just that a woman much prefers to live with a man she cant keep her hands off who gives her many orgasms. This also improves other aspects of their relationships because a sexually satisfiend woman is a happy, mellow woman and unsatisfied woman is unhappy and irritable even with kids.

But I guess when spouses are together for years and are best friends and have kids then Your solution could work 😁

[krimster2]

if I took BeeFarmer "under my wing" and took him into the Mustang Ranch, off of I-80 just outside of Reno...
it would only be of "limited utility"
the problem is DEEPER than that
becuz BeeFarmer has been DEPRIVED of female contact
and this deprivation has affected his mental health

when I was a little kid, I saw this effect in my mother's parakeets
a single bird without a mate would sometimes turn neurotic and start pulling out it's feathers
and then OMG it started reading Jordon Peterson!!!!

every freakin thing in the universe is based on numbers
even BeeFarmer's life

what volume of contact with random members of the opposite sex does beefarmer have?
what interests does beefarmer have that may have a social component?

simple truth, ya wanna catch fish, go where there's fish
but 'ole BeeFarmer is no "fisher of Women"
he ain't got no bait, no line, nothin but his festering resentment

BeeFarmer's own "moniker" would be his salvation, if he opened his freakin eyes
apiculturists are FREAKIN HUGE in Russia and Ukraine
they have these "convention like" shows/meetings
gazillions of wimmin
BeeFarmer would be their little flower

but BeeFarmer would have to learn how to work and play with others first
or he'll phuque it up with his neurosis
the best thing BeeFarmer could do, is get a woman to rate how phuqued-up he is
to get a true appraisal, before he tries to sell himself

and this is to just get over the FIRST HURDLE, of finding a partner
that's the EASY PART
forming a perfect union ain't easy at all
how'd that "North/South" thing work out?

the hill that BeeFarmer must climb is STEEP
so odds are, he'll stay EXACTLY where he is
not many are bold enuff to climb Everest


ChatGPT has "read" WAY more books then BeeFarmer
and knows way more about almost any subject than BeeFarmer
and also just happens to have never been on a date, just like BeeFarmer
and that's why livin passively instead of actively is a big mistake

nothing kills a dream faster than FEAR
but be NOT AFRIAD...for I am the bearer of good news
yur life ain't over yet

[olgac]

kimster, I thought Bunny Ranch near Carson City is supposed to be better than Mustang Ranch east of Sparks/Reno

[krimster2]

I haven't been in Reno in many years
so I have no contemporary knowledge, but I know a LOT about Nevada's Geology

I've been to the Mustang in decades past when it was run by Joe Conforti (a truely evil man, who I had a small business connection with)
Joe Conforti's Body Guard was the only white man who ever scared me
I copied some of his mannerisms to freak out Russians, cuz the Russian mafiya wanted me to get tats and wouldn't let me skip out cuz I was a zhid
I'm so glad I'm not in the bitcoin business any more or in Russia
I is just a harmless 'ole geezer in a red state
with some moonshine and watermelon rine
watching the world burn

DHL just confirmed my Chinese shipment
all pre tarriff

[olgac]

I see. I just looked at reviews on yelp and moonlight bunnyranch in Carson City has worse reviews than Mustang Ranch in Sparks I think there was an HBO show about the Bunnyranch

[krimster2]

i'm sure there's some kind of recent online reviews somewhere

note:

you can just go and have a drink, and if you don't like the ambiance, depart, no problem, many do
inside is VERY SAFE, bouncers will NOT allow ANY bad behavior from ANYONE (as long as yur spending money)
but outside is a different story

http://travelnevada.com/parks-recreational-areas/berlin-ichthyosaur-state-park/
there's part of an ichthyosaur near Virgina city and the giant petrified forest (google)

ya gotta be careful picking up fossils, it might be illegal, so just be discreet about it

friends tell me the hotsprings near carson city have been trashed, otherwise, in the daytime was fun
you can raft down the Truckee, I've done it a few times
up on Mt Rose they had hang gliding schools for beginners

be careful having any contact with ground squirrels or other rodents in this area
they're disease carrying, stay far away from them and their "droppings"

you WILL find yellow scorpions under rocks, maybe 2 inches long
and you will find rattlesnakes
both are easy to avoid

be wary of the people you encounter in the desert in rural nevada, many of those you encounter will be armed
if someone you know is a cigarette smoker take them to the Paiute reservation at Pyramid Lake and have em load up on tax free cigarettes!!!
I wonder what else they can sell there now???

have you tried skiiing, snow boarding or sledding?
I used to ski, now I'd just sled
being up on the moutain, the warm sun on yur face
while zooming down a mountain
makes me feel like a kid again