Wife split!

[Jooky]

http://streeteasy.com/nyc/building/501-surf-avenue-brooklyn

There. I agree he needs to move on, but no need to drum up a conspiracy against the guy.

[GregfromGa]

I will be the first to admit I didnt read the 63 pages. When the guy said she didnt sleep with him after the wedding night and she moved into another room then it doesnt take an MIT graduate to figure it out. I dont know Wayne from Adams house cat but the woman had a plan from the beginning. It's that obvious. Wayne may be 70 for all I know and the girl might be 26. If this is the case then hopefully next time around he'll stay in his league and the results will be more to his liking. I dont think the guy is stalking her simply because he has a few pictures of her supposed apartment. I do know that apartment with that view would be some crazy rent. The sooner Wayne gets back in the game the better he'll be but he's going to always want to know whats going on with this woman to a certain extent.

[BillyB]

http://streeteasy.com/nyc/building/501-surf-avenue-brooklyn

There. I agree he needs to move on, but no need to drum up a conspiracy against the guy.

Look at it from a judge's view. If Wayne's ex reads this thread and takes him to court, Wayne will be guilty until he proves himself innocent. Even if Wayne did not go to NY and take photos of his wife's residence, a judge will find it very disturbing to read the activities Wayne admitted to considering the relationship was over 1 year ago. A judge will get the impression he is hunting down his wife for insincere reasons. What ever he's currently doing or plan on doing to get more info on his ex wife's life needs to stop.

According to post #1 of this thread, Wayne said she didn't sleep with him, moved into seperate bedrooms, let the house get trashed, ran up his debt, moved in with boyfriend and took new car and other things in house with her.

Wayne says he still loves her but a judge will side on caution and think he's hunting her down for revenge.

[tfcrew]

 Remember ...there are two sides to every story.

[BillyB]

Remember ...there are two sides to every story.

I'm sure Wayne's ex has a story on why she couldn't live with him but if indeed Wayne's wife did not sleep in the same bed with Wayne ever, especially on their wedding night, then I would say she shouldn't have married Wayne to begin with and only married him to use him for a green card.

I felt sorry for Wayne when I first read this thread but he's losing my support. I don't know if he's trying to locate her because he still loves her, trying to get revenge, or just obsessed with trying to get into her size 3 a$$.

[Maxx2]

I do not misrepresent. I simply asked Max - in a polite and respectful way - if this was him who told this story. Because I remember him saying it, yet I admitted that I may be mistaking Max with another forum member. This conversation was awhile ago, so I do not know in which topic to look for it. This is why I am asking Max.

Most guys who are accused of being abusive by their Russian wives are accused by them as being spousal rapists. From what I have noticed more than half are accused of this. The reason this happens is because the USCIC on their website says that "significant abuse" must happen in order to get a green card by an abuse self petition. Because the USCIC does not define what "significant abuse" is most Russian wives who are at risk of being deported unless their petition is granted make up the claim of rape and other claims to secure a green card. Some poor fellows had their wives trick them into having sex with them then their wives call the police and make the rape claim.  Yes the claim was made against me but the judge did not believe it. He said that there was "no evidence this happened". She admitted in the trial that she, with her own free will was with me at our apartment days after the supposed rape. No calls to the police. No informed friends. Nothing. Just a wild story. This a subject most people can't deal with. It is too ugly. It is easier to make the claim of solidarity towards women and assume the men are guilty.
 

[SMS60]

Most guys who are accused of being abusive by their Russian wives are accused by them as being spousal rapists. From what I have noticed more than half are accused of this. The reason this happens is because the USCIC on their website says that "significant abuse" must happen in order to get a green card by an abuse self petition. Because the USCIC does not define what "significant abuse" is most Russian wives who are at risk of being deported unless their petition is granted make up the claim of rape and other claims to secure a green card. Some poor fellows had their wives trick them into having sex with them then their wives call the police and make the rape claim.  Yes the claim was made against me but the judge did not believe it. He said that there was "no evidence this happened". She admitted in the trial that she, with her own free will was with me at our apartment days after the supposed rape. No calls to the police. No informed friends. Nothing. Just a wild story. This a subject most people can't deal with. It is too ugly. It is easier to make the claim of solidarity towards women and assume the men are guilty.
 

How true. It is sad that our laws encourage this behaviour. If you do some research on forums for women migrating on K visas, you will find almost 100% of the women know about these laws. They know what the score is.

They know every move to make if things go south in the relationship. They are in survival mode.

[ECOCKS]

Most but not all.

My wife and I were talking a few months ago and I mentioned VAWA. She was clueless as to it's existence and, after further discussion, a bit set back concerning how it would affect the man in our society. In her conversations with women looking at seeking foreign husbands she has come to realize that more education on this subject is a bit of a sticky area. At what point is it educating them as to their rights versus giving them ideas concerning how to abuse the system (and their husbands)? In reading the stories concerning Conroy and Sheridan, she is increasingly contemplative as to how important the issue is to explain properly while providing protection for both sides.

[GregfromGa]

Well there's certainly not many here that has been where Wayne has been. I'm not going to judge the guy for his actions after the fact. I can tell him good luck and hope things get better but there's not many here that can say what they would or would not do because it's never happened to them. It's easy for people to tell him what they think he did wrong. He probably handled this better than I would have.

[Mike78]

I didn't read this whole thread, but from what I can remember (maybe I'm mistaken) Wayne first met (or at least wrote to) his ex in 2000 and they got married in 2008. Could you really misjudge somebody's character after 8 years? Was there some significant inequality in this marriage (e.g. way out of Wayne's league in term of looks, huge age gap, etc.)?

More importantly, what can we get out of this and similar stories so that this doesn't happen to us? I think the first obvious rule would be not to go out of your league...  But I think GCG can happen even in case of seemingly balanced marriage. How do you guys measure/test the character of your potential partner?

[ECOCKS]

Some folks will probably take exception to you blatantly referring to "testing" and "judging" your potential partner but I'm with you on this Mike. Call it what you will, but before deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone you have spent a period of time "judging" then in all sorts of situations.

Some guys engineer these situations in an effort to makeup for the lesser amount of facetime most people in an international relationship are able to experience. While some of these "tests" are reasonable and informative as to your partners true self, others cross the border into manipulative and unethical behavior. For instance, it's one thing to take your wife to a fancy restaurant and see how she treats waiters and waitresses. Hacking her email and violating her privacy is another thing entirely.

Before proposing to my wife we went through stages where we agreed on things to do together, thereby testing our compatible interests. We agreed on entering into a monogamous relationship, played house a few months to "test" living compatability, fixed different foods for each other and I considered her language skills in the context of could I understand her wants and emotions well-enough to contemplate a lifetime of being with her (as I am sure she considered mine). In fact, as it became clear (to me) that I wasn't going to avoid remarrying again, I freely admit that making it clear that life with me was not a guarantee of getting into the US, was, in its own way a test of sorts. I told all the women I dated that I expected to stay in Ukraine a few years and then I might head off to Japan or China for a few more. It eliminated several before meeting and at least two were open on the first dates and admitted that they couldn't believe I wanted to live in Ukraine a few years when I could move to most anywhere else.

[Maxx2]

More importantly, what can we get out of this and similar stories so that this doesn't happen to us? I think the first obvious rule would be not to go out of your league...  But I think GCG can happen even in case of seemingly balanced marriage. How do you guys measure/test the character of your potential partner?

Very well said. The consequences of choosing the wrong woman can be severe. It is so easy to blinded by love/sex. What I have come to conclusion on this is to seek a RW who is solid in her job, with her family, has shown evidence of having stick-to-it-ism in what she sets out to do and is stable with her emotions. Mature.  

[Maxx2]

Then there is the "door test"

  1:40 into it

[Jumper]

Wayne had a previously  failed K1 as well..i ske dearlie iu nth ehthrea dan dhe reolied yes..
  which was in 2001 or 2002 i believe?
So i think you guys are confusing his first K1 ,with his marriage to someone else later?

(and if he is the same Wayne from RWG, that K1 was a nightmare for both parties)


Regardless ,
he has been divorced a year it seems ,and still is concerned with his ex's where a'bouts.
while mild curiosity.. is understandable

He got out of the divorce relatively unscathed
so now a year later fretting who is paying her bills,,what she does for a living ,
 where the location is ,if it has a good view ,this type of thing seems odd.


It's way past time to move on!!



kievstar- you have repeatedly stated that wayne married out of his league ..
what in the heck are you basing that on?

[Maxx2]

kievstar- you have repeatedly stated that wayne married out of his league ..
what in the heck are you basing that on?

I assume it was assumed. I seen his photo and his ex and they looked looks wise compatible.

[mies]

Then there is the "door test"

 1:40 into it

that's a great video  thank you for posting it.
would like to share alternative view on it Until i started driving myself - and that was when I was well older than 20, it would never cross my mind that I should open the door for the driver. First of all - because it never crossed my mind that such move would make driver's life easier, and secondly - because i was taught not to use others' property unless explicitly allowed to do so. To give you an example - a woman invites you for dinner to her apartment first time, she sets dishes, and then you run to her bar to get a bottle of wine. A natural move for people who know each other well and live together and own this bar together, but quite unacceptable for people who are on a first date. I don't want a stranger to sort through my bar, fridge, music records, or anything else which is my property. So I would never pass the door test on a first date - no matter how much I care about people in general or some man in particular.


as for DVC "cook-ups" of russian wives - I agree with you. Still, not 100% of the DVC charges are false - there are always "the good, the bad, and the ugly" - both men and women. And there are real cases of murdered Russian wives - cases when wives "could see it coming", and murders that could have been prevented. Maybe this is why the laws are designed in such way. Basically - few lives of innocent women are saved at the cost of men who wrongfully suffered DVC and are at financial and emotional loss. But these men are alive. And women are alive. Maybe not a first best solution, but the closest approximation to it from the perspective of state legislation.

Some men - before bringing a RW on K1 visa - should read what constitutes abuse, and then decide whether they really can bring a RW, or their lifestyle would make it impossible. Even if they do not know what constitutes an abuse - they still are going to be kept liable for it. I am not talking about your case, or Wayne's, - rather in general.

[kievstar]

AJ, I am basing that on reading this 60 plus page thread. 

Wayne lives in a village with not much to do.  I know been there many times in past.  Nice place to visit for 2 days but not to live. Wayne also had the issue about what he likes and his wife - remember the picture taking portion of this thread.  Based on his appearance and income level compared to his wife's age and lifestyle not in his league.  There were pictures posted at one time in this thread. 

There was also the issue about his wifes work.

I think many things went wrong but if Wayne lived in Chicago or New York city center and had a decent income this woman would be with him.  But this is not 100% what Wayne wants in life.  Wayne wants the beautiful woman but to live in his village.  Going to be hard to find it.   

[Wayne]

I did not go to NYC. I did not take the photographs. As I said, there is an advertisement on the internet because the condo where O is living is for sale. I believe the man who listed the condo is O’s Boyfriend. Remember, when O split she told me she was going to move in with her Boyfriend.
I believe that O had a relationship with this man long before she ever left Russia. I believe that O planned to end up with this guy from the beginning. The man has a very, very Russian name. He listed his name on the advertisement. I think that he was involved with O’s plan from the start. Perhaps he is not yet an American Citizen? Perhaps he needed me to be the Mule?
So why is the condo for sale? O is never satisfied! They probably are looking for a nicer place. O admitted, during the divorce proceedings, that she has a good paying job. So now they can afford a nicer condo.
When I went to Russia and first met O, we were in the sack together within two hours. O was not bashful! She got in trouble with the hotel manager because the maids heard us in the middle of the afternoon. When O came to America, we had sex from the first day. We did it in the afternoon when Daughter was at school. Then, we got married, and I got cut off!
This is what I think!  O’s boyfriend was jealous! He told her to stop sleeping with me!
The day after our wedding, O insisted that we go shopping for a car for her. A couple weeks later, she had the car. Then, she would be gone for several days at a time, up until a week or longer. I gave her credit cards to buy gas. She was spending $500 or more per month on gas! She got speeding tickets that I paid. One on them was from Ohio.  She made many trips and left her Daughter with me. School was out for the Summer, but she still left Daughter with me. Then in August, the two of them were gone for about two weeks. They came back with many shopping bags full of new clothes. O was not working at that time. It is obvious to me that O was in NYC with her boyfriend.
In October, O took daughter out of school and was gone for 10 days. The exchange student from Ukraine who was living with us at the time told me they went to West Palm Beach. After O split, I was cleaning up their mess and found many shopping bags with receipts inside from fancy stores. The boarding passes for the airplane tickets were there. The boyfriend must have paid for all this!
So in a way I am lucky! I got stuck for all the credit card debts that O ran up, but it could have been worse. So what is the big deal about me knowing O’s address? Remember, I needed to serve her the divorce papers! The divorce was final only two months ago.
Someone already discovered the building

[GregfromGa]

Wayne, my friend you know I'm with you 1000% on all this. This woman was pure evil. She knew exactly what she was doing. Do you have any naked pictures of her?

[Jack]

Wayne you have gotten some what beat up from your post.

At first I kind of felt sorry for you.

But the more I read, the more you write, I just shake my head.  

With 98 out of 100 men who were taken to the cleaners, who were scammed, who were used as a mule, I would think they did not deserve such. But in your case, again, I just shake my head.

Now let me see by a raising of men's hand.   How many men would marry a woman they could have sex with within 2 hours of meeting?     Let's see, ..... there's one guy,....there's two.  Hummm a couple of thousand guys in the audience and I see two men who would marry a woman they had never met before and was having sex with her within 2 hours of meeting.

Some times Wayne, as bad as it may sound, not so bright guys get what they deserve.

[Wayne]

I live a few miles outside of a village. Not many young couples live near me. O knew all of this.  I sent her many photos, booklets, information even Goggle Earth close ups. She knew where I work, how much I earn and everything. I did not hide anything from her!

O came anyway because she was not planning to stay here. She had plans all along with the other guy or guys.

When O got married before, she took her husband's last name adding an "a" to the end.  So why did she refuse to take my name?

You know, O failed the door test!

When I was in Russia, O and I were in a drugstore waiting for a percription to be filled. The store was next to O's apartment building. A young man came in and starting talking to O.  after a few minutes, O introduced me to him.  He lived in the same building.  Funny thing I remember now, he had the same first name as the man who posted the condo ad.  It would not surprise me if this was the same man.  Maybe he won the green card lottery!

[GregfromGa]

Wayne, considering that there isnt but about 10 different Russian names for me, i wouldnt jump on that theory. But a good try none the less. I feel for you big guy. It shouldnt have happened. She shouldve been deported and still should.

[kievstar]

Wayne, this lady named O is a gold digger and is working on increasing her status.  More than likely the condo is for sale as she / they have money issues or working on another scam.

I spent 2 hours re reading this thread and other posts you made.  You do mention a lot about her wearing tight sexy clothes numerous times over a course of a year in your posts.  Even the post on court you mentioned this.  Now talking about sex in first two hours.

Wayne, I would encourage you to go to Charlevoix MI and hit one of the strip bars with the eastern Europe girls.  Go to the one with photos of Rod Stewart in it when he used to date that girl from Torch Lake Michigan area before he married that super model (about 25 years ago).  Than pay for some sex for next month from these girls.  Once you get cheap sex out of your system than look in the mirror and ask yourself do you really want to be married.  You already have 3 grown children.  What is a wife really going to do for you?

[Wayne]

Actually, there is a strip bar called Fantasy's which is about half a mile from my work. The company I work for did the plumbing and HVAC.  I drew the plans, but was never inside the building The workers who installed the mechanical systems got free passes. 

These type of places were never on my agenda. When I was in the USAF some of my friends took me to a few strip joints in California.

Remember, I studied art and was a graduate student in art so we had all kinds of nude models in various art classes.

[GregfromGa]

My guess Wayne is that they are selling the place because of the mortgage. I figure she lives there with the guy who is selling it but maybe I'm wrong. Those with a view like theirs sell for about 500K+ right?